Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Facing Anger

“Anger is a condition when the tongue works faster than the mind”

When I got this wise word from Mas Iwan , I remembered what I’ve learnt about facing anger and expressing it in the good way.

I am neither a consultant nor a competent adviser. I just want to share what I think is good and useful for everyone.

A marriage is two imperfect people making a commitment to accept one another. But in the process it is not always easy to do. The first two years of my marriage was an adaptation period. When we got angry we tended to say revilement to express our emotion, and the result was bad. It hurt our feeling.

One day I got angry with my husband. But at that time I hold my mouth shut from saying something. It was hard; I couldn’t sleep all night, while he slept like a log. Then I turned the computer on, and wrote a letter for him. I wrote what I felt. It was good for me, because by writing I could express my feeling better. I could edit the words; I could choose nice and right words so they wouldn’t hurt his feeling. And it worked! I felt relief.

After I printed the letter, I put it on my husband’s bag. When he opened his bag in the office and found my letter, he called me soon after he red it. He said nice word to me and he apologized. Anything became better. Since that day, I learnt that if there is anger in me, calm it down first then I can say something positive to express my anger. When I say something positive, the respond that come to me is positive too.

Have a nice day!

1 comment:

free7 said...

wow..i hope that you don't have problems with your husband..hehehe...
Men tend to be introspective and won't easily share what they're feeling. Many times it might be good to let them be for a day. But, at some point after that, you need to find a way of finding out what's bothering him. Long periods of unresponsiveness and non-communication only cause further distancing.
Every troubled relationship displays its own set of warning signs. Couples, and particularly men, are seldom the ones to initially offer to seek help. Counseling, investing and reading books that address your problems, joining a couples support group, talking with other couples, and talking to each other are always helpful.