Finding My Soul Mate (Part 2)

I was just an ordinary woman who dreamed of being a wife and a lovely mother. People lived in happiness or hopelessness based on the single decision of a life partner. A person’s sense of meaning and success were forever influenced by this decision. That’s what I believed. That’s why I took it seriously. So, I began with a standard of my husband-to-be.

I was not a perfect woman, but I thought I deserved to have a husband that had attributes such as maturity in character, emotional stability, and spiritual values. I hoped he would have respect for my parents, honesty, integrity, and responsibility. It sounds perfect, isn’t it? I my self was not sure I could find someone with this quality.

Ok, let’s go back to the candidates.
The first one showed that he had been interested on me since the first time I joined the company. He gave me attention more than other girls in the office. He gave me souvenirs when he returned back from Jakarta or other places. Often I caught him red handed staring at me and smiled. He spoke with nice and sweet voice when he was talking to me, but it would be different when he spoke to other people. I saw the sign but I did not reply it in the way he wanted me to. Actually I didn’t see something interesting on him.

One day, he came to me. He said he needed to talk. It was in the evening, after working hour.

“I believe you know what I feel for you. Well, I know it is too fast since we’ve been known each other for only several months. My age is 30 years old now, It is more than enough to start having a family. My parents ask me to get married soon. Since I knew you I believed that I have already found the right one. I want you to be the mother of my children in the future. I am ready to be a good husband. I have a good job; I have a nice house, and car. And I guarantee you will never live in poverty as long as you are my wife. What do you think? “He said assuredly.

I looked into his eyes. Many things came to my mind. I said silently “What kind of man are you? You’re so arrogant. No one can guarantee what will happen to other person, even to your self. Only God has the authority to guarantee someone’s livelihood. What if you get fired? What if the house is burned down, and you lost all your money? Can you keep your family away from poverty? Who do you think you are? “

I was thinking of choosing the right words to respond. Then He said confidently “ I need you to say yes, or no. If you say yes, I will contact my parents soon so they come to your parents to propose you.”

I had just wanted to refuse his offering, but then I remember my friend’s advice to consider any man. Maybe the first impression of him was not so good, but who knew he was the right person for me.

The second one was my old friend. We’d been friend since we were in elementary school. He was nice, smart, and unique. He was talkative person. As long as he was with me, he always talked and talked about many things such as politics, economics, latest news, philosophy, etc. He liked reading, so he was knowledgeable. His English was excellent; actually I was turned green with envy because my English was not really good. And also one thing, he liked singing. He was like a singing machine or something. What a unique person!

When he gave me a sign of his feeling toward me, I began to feel anxious. The truth was I felt comfort to be his friend, and I wanted to keep it that way. I was afraid I would ruin our friendship and moreover I didn’t want to hurt him. He was such a good man.

When I worked in the field, he sent me letters, and gifts. The more he gave me those gifts, the more I felt guilty that I couldn’t reciprocate in the way he wanted me to. In one of his letter, he told me that I had made him crazy because I did not reply his letters. I didn’t reply them because I hoped he would gradually understand that I couldn’t be his girl. I hoped he would forget me, and found someone else.

TO BE CONTINUED