Sunday, April 13,2008
Today is the first day of Manasik Haji. I can’t describe exactly what I feel, but it is a mix of excitement, anxiety, enthusiasm, curiosity, fear, and happiness. I feel that I don’t deserve to be the guest of Allah Swt, because I have done so many sins. In the other hand, I have been waiting for a long time to do this, I can’t hold my tears from falling down every time I heard “ Talbiyah” : “ Labbaikallaahumma labbaik,labbaika laa syariika laka labbaik….”
Even when I write this note, I am crying.
Naik Haji (Hajj pilgrimage) is one of my priorities in life. Actually, I have been willing to do it since I was younger, when I was still working. When I realized that my saving was enough to cover ONH (cost required for hajj pilgrimage) in the year of 1997, I said to myself that if I couldn’t find someone to be my husband, I would do hajj pilgrimage. But then I found Sutedja Eddy Saputra, and we got married in 1998.
My desire was raised again when my second daughter was two years old, but then I got pregnant. So I kept my desire, until finally I could convince my husband to register as the intended hajj in the year of 2007 . But we should wait again, because we did not get the turn on 2007.
Today, we go to Masjid Al Aqobah I, where the manasik haji is held. We have choose KBIH Nurindayu. There are many intended hajj there. We follow the agenda, and also do the instruction to practice Thawaf and Sa’i. I hope everything will be ok.